I’m not going to let another #mememonday pass without a post – one thought came to mind. The theme this month is – What gift do you want Microsoft to leave under the tree this year?

I don’t want much. Bill Gates is already taking care of the world, so no beauty pageant wish there. As a SQL Server professional I just want a few simple gifts – stocking stuffers really. In fact a tune comes to mind…

The defaults in SQL Server anger me
Auto Shrink and Full Recovery mode by default especially
I do know just who to blame for this catastrophe!
So my one wish on Meme Monday is as plain as it can be!

All I want for Christmas
is the auto-shrink option dead
the auto-shrink option dead
see! that fragmented database!

Gee, if I could only
have the option dead
then I could wish you
“Merry Christmas”
It seems so long since I could scan
all those fragmented tables quickly
Gosh oh gee, how happy I’d be
If it were only dead

All I want for Christmas
is the auto-shrink option dead
the auto-shrink option dead
see! that fragmented database!

That’s It –

I want SQL Server to make it a little tougher for well meaning, but ill-trained people to shoot themselves in their feet. I don’t want people to have to hire high priced consultants to fix problems that are caused by defaults, by maintenance plan options that allow them to fragment their database, by a simple check box to enable auto-fragment mode of their database. It isn’t that consultants are bad 😉 – it’s just that my posts on transacation log shrinking and management (and why you shouldn’t need to do it) shouldn’t be the most popular google search traffic to my blog 🙂

Reminds me of the series of posts about the top 5 things I wanted SQL Server to drop during an earlier meme. That’s what I want.

P.S. – That means if you are auto shrinking your database or you have to do gymnastics to clear your huge transaction log every time you run out of disk space – you’re doing it wrong. See these posts.

Merry Christmas – I’ll be leaving cookies and milk out for Microsoft in a few weeks. I’ll let you know if they came.