When I put Database technology down, I run a 20-acre farm with my family. I love it. It’s fun watching the kids learn from the experience. It’s fun learning my own life lessons and illustrations from the chores and animals.
A farm scare today made me think of you. There is a lesson for us all that I hope my animals never learn. One of our boys ran in shouting, “The cows! The cows! They are trying to get out! They are pushing on the gate!”. I ran out there to see it was a misunderstanding. The boys heard a noise, saw the position of the cows and assumed the worst. All was well. (It almost turned into a “parent of young children” fear when I saw it was the bull and one of the cows (that means female) over in that corner together… ) But it reminded me of my greatest fear of raising farm animals in a suburban/rural town close to busy roads. I think you and I can benefit from understanding my fear here. I’ll tell you my fears and help you on one condition: you can’t tell my animals this lesson. It is only for us.
You are free
That’s the lesson. Rather than bury the lede, that’s the lesson. You’re free. In many contexts and in many ways – you are free. Now that I’ve spilled the beans, you’re even free to stop reading and have the next couple minutes back, if you like. You’re free, after all.
The lesson I hope the animals never learn.
In short: That they are free.
My fences are all psychological. Our cows are small for cows but big for fences. Our bull weighs about 1,250 pounds. While we spent a lot of money on our fences, the bull could leave in a few ways:
- He can walk through the electric fences. On a good day, the fence is about 8,000 volts. That sounds high, and it is, but it’s pulsating. I’ve touched it and will touch it again I’m sure and am alive with no (new) deficiencies (that I’m cognizant of). Animals can charge through it.
- He can knock down the woven wire fences if he charged them.
- He could push with his weight on the many gates to the outside
- He could step on the gate with his front legs and crush it to the ground.
The goats and sheep can jump over in some areas. They could run through the electric strands on some days. When their coats are full, the sheep could walk through the high tensile strands and possibly not feel a zap. They all could leave.
Thankfully, most don’t. But it’s a fear. This sense that the animals could discover something fairly obvious to you by now. They could discover that they are free.
It’s said that when captive elephants are young, their trainers tie them to big chains. Those chains won’t go anywhere when they move them. They spend their young years learning “when I am tied up, I can kick all I want, I’m not going anywhere”. It’s also said that when they are older, they don’t need big chains to hold them. A rope tied to a small post will do. They don’t know they are free.
I don’t want my animals to learn they are free. People who raise farm animals often suggest getting rid of an animal who knows they are free; It’s contagious.
The lesson I hope you are starting to learn.
I already told you above, so this isn’t a big reveal. In short: You are free.
I told you why our farm animals are really free. I told you about the holes in the system they aren’t aware of yet. Let me tell you some reasons they stay, though. When you read these think of yourself and your current situation:
- Contentment – They have hay or grains. They have water. They get treats. They are well loved by their humans. They don’t know if this is all they need or want, it’s all they know and it works.
- Self Awareness – They have “imposter syndrome” – they don’t know they can get out. They believe they are not free.
- Role Models – None of the other animals model escapist tendencies. Well, not in the ones we have today.
- Laziness – Let’s face it, they walk to the fence, see it, and give up and go back to the easy stuff.
It must look weird to those animals when a deer jumps over the fences and runs around in the field before jumping out. Thankfully, it’s not frequent enough to model the behavior. I sometimes wonder, if the animals possessed rationality, would they think those deer to be strange and problematic fools?
This is about you though. You are free. Right now. You are free. I’m mostly speaking of career, growth, learning and development with this post. And there are many dimensions of the word “free”, sometime over coffee I can talk about a few of them with you.
For now. Think of your career and your day job and your advancement. Maybe you think your gender is keeping you down because that’s the fence that’s been put around you by society or your team. Maybe you think “I’ll never be able to speak at a conference, because of ” and then list a bunch of barriers like the gate being there, or the hay being tastiest where you are, or not being expert enough in availability groups to dare speak at a local user group about the topic.
Knock it off. I’m not giving you some “new age” power of positive thinking self-help thing here, but. Knock it off. There are valid limitations. I can’t be a star .net developer tomorrow or in 3 months. Though I bet if I wanted to join the dark side and become a developer and I focused on it for a few years, I could do a decent job and become better than average. I’m not that talented or extra smart, I just know that consistent effort leads to progress and have systems for learning technology and using it, you could do it also, I trust. But Knock it off. Stop giving these bad excuses space to germinate. Stop watching the other fence dwellers for your cues.
Again – being a fence dweller isn’t bad. What I mean is – don’t limit yourself. Don’t limit your potential because of fake circumstances. Work harder, see beyond the fence and work towards your outcomes. Will you always succeed? Nope. So knock that, “But what if I fail?!!” barrier out of your way, quickly, you will fail at times. I’ve been laid off a few times. I dropped out of High Scool. I had a lengthy business partnership that pretty much fizzled and failed at the end, I’ve sat there looking at the books before wondering “hmm. is it time to go find that good hay inside a safer fence?”, I’ve realized that I didn’t have a connection with a client and had to move on from the relationship, I’ve messed up farming in more ways than I can count. Don’t even talk about my personal failures on the journey!
You’ll have failures, too. Inside the fence is safety, food, water, and generally kind shepherds. Outside there are cars, predator animals, weather patterns and pesky humans. You can stay inside that fence, and that’s a great option – whatever your fence is. But just know, you are free.